Why following the rules is a fluffing bad idea if you are a woman in business.
The ‘rules’ of business are made by, and for, men in business. A lot of you will have come from a corporate background where you were very successful. The rules that worked in the corporate world for making money and getting clients do not translate to the business you are in now.
The rules of engagement are different in a soul-driven business like yours. And you are likely getting pretty frustrated that what used to work for you, no longer works for you.
The good news is, that you can tweak the way you currently see things and get back into that place of flow where clients come and find you.
You, my darling, are a badass business babe here to change the world. You are not here just to make money, and if you are, you are going to hate working with me. I work with babes in business to show them how they can
H A V E I T A L L
Yes, you read that correctly, you can have it all:
- A profitable business that you are passionate about
- A business that fits around your lifestyle
- A business that lets you help more people AND make more money
- Scale up with selling out
I’ve never been a rule follower much my parents disgust probably. Following the rules in my experience has only ever lead to me feeling even worse. Now I’m not talking about not following the rules of kindness and of the universal flow, because being kind is one of my most important values.
What I’m talking about is following the bullshit rules of society, for example, that “we should play nice” “that we need to consider how we make others feel”. Now before I go any further I need to address this: Women are taught to be nice, and boys are taught to succeed. Yes, I know it is a generalization, but after empowering women in business for over 10 years, 99% of the women I work with have to work on smashing this bullshit belief so they can succeed in business. If you want to go ahead and ignore your conditioning, be my guest, but you won’t get the business results you are capable of.
How does this really play out? Think about this example. My daughter was having a bit of a rough day at school. She was not crying. She was not being disruptive she was just being quiet. She wasn’t even scowling, she just wasn’t her usual bubbly leaping around smiley self. Five of her teachers that day said, Come on Caitlyn smile. Do you know what she came home said to me? Mum, boys are unhappy at school all the time, but the teachers don’t ask them to smile.
Now think about that. What does that one tiny nugget tell you? – that we’re supposed to be happy, that we’re supposed to hold it together. And that a girl’s job is actually to make other people happy. Fucking rabbit hole right?
What happens when you spend your life trying to make other people happy? You turn into a people pleaser. Now I want you to think about your 10 closest friends and tell me how many of those friends are people pleasers, I bet it’s a lot.
Now, I want you to switch your mind to thinking about how being a people pleaser in business has pulled you off track. I could name a million ways it has pulled me off track….but let’s start with one…
Being a people pleaser he often led me to listen to what other people say about my brand or my packages or my messaging. “You could try this….” “You should follow such and such… they are doing …..” “What really sells is this….” “That messaging needs to be….” There are literally a hundred people dying to tell you how to run your business, but you know what? You know your business the best. Sure having a coach will give you clarity so you don’t get pulled in a thousand directions, and you can just double down and start getting real results instead of spinning your wheels, but no one else is more of an expert in your business than you. YOU ARE YOUR BUSINESS.
Listening to other people instead of following your own gut in a small business leads to you spinning your wheels, getting frustrated, trying to turn your brand into something that’s not you, and then you end up with a business that you don’t like. And that doesn’t make you money. The fastest way to success is just being true to you.
And that’s just one way that being a people pleaser can pull off track in your business, think about some of the others. Being a people pleaser means that you put yourself last. And when you put yourself last, you get overwhelmed, your resilience goes down, and you end up like a batshit crazy woman, which then brings on a whole other societal story that women are emotional. Can you see what I’m getting to here? I could seriously go on and give you 20 other examples, but I’d rather get on with telling you how to bust out of those bullshit rules and live your best life.
That’s what my coaching is all about. It’s about getting us to be empowered, it’s empowering you as a woman to live your best life, to have a business that has everything you want it to be. You don’t have to follow the bullshit rules to have a successful business. I don’t follow the rules, I break all the business rules and I think that I succeed not in spite of breaking all the rules, but that I succeed BECAUSE I refuse to follow the rules. Remember the rules of business are not made for small soul-driven businesses like ours.
So how can you start to break the rules? Follow this method:
- Search your week for the things that frustrate you the most.
- Then, ask yourself what would be a much more fun way for you to do this.
- Then write out the end result you want.
- Then go for a walk and get your creative groove on.
- Then write out the three steps you would need to take.
- Then put those three things into your calendar.
- Review your results and refine the process!
I want you to get up in the morning and go fuck I can’t believe I get to live this life. If you’re ready to take your business to the next level, and actually make it start working for you, then I want you to talk about FemPowered Empire Building. It’s a program for woman who are driven to create an empire that serves the world, that is, there are only women in there that are here to make a difference in other people’s lives.
Your next step is to book a free Business Growth Strategy Session with me to see how I can help your business to grow. Regardless of whether we decide to work together or not, you will come away from this 100% free call with an idea of how to grow and scale your business from a place of authenticity without the overwhelm. If you ARE a fit (and not everyone is) we can chat about the FemPowered Empire Building Programme.